It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I intend to get homeless drunk
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
