Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
