I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
