How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
