Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
