you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
