Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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