Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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