i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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