She is in my trunk
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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