beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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