Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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