I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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