Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
