I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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