I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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