she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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