Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
