I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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