dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Randomize
