Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
