If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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