My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
