I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I could fuck to npr.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
