he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
