it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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