Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
