My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
