did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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