what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
