yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
