we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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