No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
