Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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