i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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