...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's never too late to be topless.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
