big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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