we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
