The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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