What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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