You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
