And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
