No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize