yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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