Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I think I have vodka in my lungs
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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