apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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