his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
