I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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