wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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