Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
