ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
