hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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