Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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