So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
