the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
