Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
someone owes me an orgasm
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
