Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm like, not good at living.
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