She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
