i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
